Creative writing

No matter how often I try to get you off my mind, you're always there. I've told myself over and over again that no person is worth that much space. It worked for a long time, I was able to remain cold until I met you. I'd sprint away from any sign of affection. I must have held my eyes shut for too long, because you dug a hole under my fence to get in, and now you've escaped. I can't quite tell whether that was my intention the whole time or not to capture you and let you go. Because now I see golden people and they only look false to me. Nobody ever measures up to you. I'm not placing the blame on you. I did this to myself. But you are taking too much space from my poor brain. I don't think you could ever believe my brain to be worthy of picking. I shed my skin far too often for that. I wish I was new, I wish I was the mystery you once knew. It seems like I've just turned into old news you're obligated to keep in contact with. How have I managed to do this to myself?